Corporate history, mission, and legally required disclaimers.
$Dog Capital Inc. was founded in a backyard, under a tree, by a Golden Retriever named Billy who had just watched a financial news program and understood roughly 40% of it. Convinced that banking was “just burying bones, but with numbers,” Billy recruited four other dogs and a hamster named Gary, and $Dog Capital Inc. was born.
What began as a single water bowl full of loose change has grown into a sprawling, multi-species financial institution offering checking accounts, low yield savings accounts, leveraged gambling accounts, and high interest credit cards. We have not yet been audited. We are looking forward to it, mostly out of curiosity.
“To sniff out the best deals in the industry and bury them somewhere we will definitely, definitely find again later. To treat every customer like family, and every dollar like a tennis ball: worth chasing, occasionally lost under the couch, ultimately replaceable.”
| Value | What It Means At $Dog Capital Inc. |
|---|---|
| Loyalty | We will never leave your account. We may, however, forget where we put it. |
| Transparency | All fees are disclosed somewhere. Possibly buried. |
| Enthusiasm | Every transaction is met with genuine, full-body tail wagging. |
| Risk Tolerance | Extremely high. See: Leveraged Gambling Accounts. |
Our balance sheet is denominated primarily in $Dog Capital Inc coin, a real digital asset that pays real dividends through flap.sh. The treasury is managed by a rotating committee of whichever dog is awake. Historical performance is not indicative of future napping schedules.